Loose ends chapter ten - memory

Snape admits that he has a problem. PG. Substance abuse

This is a work of fan fiction. All recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit etc.

Memory
It was more than an hour before Lupin felt recovered enough to tackle Snape again. He found him in a foetal position on the bathroom floor, exactly where he had been two hours previously. Harry and Andromeda had been understandably reluctant to do anything with him, but Lupin was equally reluctant to leave him in the bathroom. If nothing else, Teddy would need a bath soon.

Snape’s breathing was rapid, but he was obviously trying to slow it down and calm himself. His body shook. Lupin was uncertain whether it was withdrawal, post-crucio or plain distress.

“Severus.” Snape made no acknowledgement. Lupin asked Harry to help him to the ground beside the trembling man.

“Are you sure, Remus?” Harry asked anxiously.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Snape turned his face away as Lupin moved close. Harry left the room, knowing Snape would welcome his presence even less than Lupin’s.

“Leave me alone,” he said softly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. You are upset and you need someone with you to make sure you are ok.”

“Leave me alone,” he said again. Suddenly he began to hit the side of his head with his palm.

“It won’t work, it won’t work,” he whimpered.

“What won’t work,” replied Lupin, taking his arm and gripping it firmly to stop him hitting himself.

“My head.” Snape made a half-hearted effort to free his arm, then gave up.

“How do you mean?”

“Everything is in the wrong place.”

Lupin sat quietly beside him.

“The wrong place?” he asked eventually.

“I go to find something, and it’s the wrong thing. I look for a potion recipe and I find an order meeting, I look for someone’s name and I find a third year transfiguration class. And there are horrible things everywhere.

“Sometimes, something reminds me and I see everything. Everything at once. Every awful thing. I try to stop them, so I just throw them anywhere to get them away. Then everything gets even more in the wrong place.”

Snape hugged his knees tighter, failing to stop the shaking in his body. He turned to Lupin, desperation in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do, I can’t make the memories go away, I can’t control what I see. I try to find something good, something powerful, to remember and focus on, and then when I do I get stuck for hours. Sometimes days.”

“Do you know why this is happening, Severus?”

Snape turned away again. He was silent for a while, then turned back.

“Too much occlumency,” he said finally.

“Yes, I think that’s right,” Lupin responded. “But you know there’s something else too.”

Snape looked at him, concentration on his face.

“The Dreamless Sleep,” Lupin said finally.

“Oh.”

“You’re taking rather a lot of it, aren’t you.”

Snape sighed and nodded slightly.

“How much?”

“A standard bottle a week.”

Lupin nodded. That wasn’t so bad. Harry had been using nearly two. But something nagged at the back of his mind.

“Hang on, is that one standard commercial potion bottle?” he asked. “Or one standard brewer’s bottle?”

The skilled potion makers tended to work in larger batches unless they were working on something particularly difficult, and the standard brewer’s bottle contained eight standard commercial bottles.

The expression that flashed across Snape’s face told him all he needed to know. Snape had clearly not expected Lupin to remember that kind of detail, and was guilty at getting caught in the half-truth.

“Shit,” Lupin said. “You know that makes it worse? Your memory problems from occlumency?”

“It does?”

“It does.”

“You’re sure?”

“It’s not proven, at least according to the book where Harry found the information, although it was an old edition. But there’s a strong link.”

“Potter found it in a book, did he? How very studious of him.”

Lupin smiled at the return of the sarcasm.

“That’s the spirit, Severus.”

“Don’t patronise me, you mangy cripple.”

Also a good sign. Vicious and specific, calculated to hurt, but not obscene. Lupin waited.

“What happens if I stop taking it?”

“I’m not sure. You haven’t had any for days as far as I know, but you’ve been pumped full of muggle drugs and they both mask and delay the withdrawal in my experience. As they wear off, you’ll probably still suffer the physical withdrawal – that’s likely to be 2-3 days, then there’s the hallucinations and effect on your sleep and dreams.”

Lupin paused.

“That can last rather longer, I’m afraid, a week or maybe two.”

“Then my memory improves?”

“I don’t know. The book said that sleeping potions made it worse. It didn’t specify whether stopping the potions would make things better.”

“Sweet Merlin. What should I do?”

Snape looked at Lupin, their faces close enough for Lupin to see the indecision and desperation in his eyes. But there was something more now, something he hadn’t seen before. Hope.

“Severus, you have to try. It’s got to be better to try than to give up.”

“Always the optimist, Lupin. How very Gryffindor.”

Snape dropped his head forward, breaking the eye contact with Lupin.

“Okay,” he said, very softly. “But will you help me?”

Lupin wrapped his arm around Snape’s shoulders, knowing how hard it was for the man to accept even the smallest help with anything, and recognising that, for a brief moment, he was open to receiving Lupin’s assistance.

“Of course. We’ll all help you. You know, you’ll change your mind though. You’ll beg us to give you the potion.”

“I know. Don’t.”

“We won’t.”

“I’m sorry I knocked you over. That was unforgivable.”

Lupin shook his head.

“I accept your apology. I also dispute your interpretation of unforgivable. I do forgive you Severus. Although I need to remind you that while, as you so eloquently point out, I’m a cripple, I’m not completely useless. I’m still capable of a decent level of magic most of the time. Andromeda and Harry are entirely able-bodied, and Harry’s a trainee auror. We won’t hesitate to restrain you if we feel anyone in the house is unsafe.”

Snape flinched slightly at the mention of aurors, but nodded. He remained silent, Lupin’s arm still around him.

Finally Lupin could stand it no longer. He spoke softly.

“So, Severus, any chance of you taking that bath?”

By the time Snape had bathed and changed into pyjamas, he smelled better but was looking worse. Lupin noticed he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“I assume you’d like to sleep now.”

“Yes.”

“Do you want any more to eat?”

“Not hungry. Starting to feel a bit ill, actually.”

“Might be the withdrawal starting. The sedatives are wearing off, you are actually speaking quite clearly now.”

Snape stood awkwardly at the entrance to the bathroom.

“I can’t really move my chair sorry, I’ll ask Harry to come and help.”

Harry entered the bathroom cautiously, watching for Snape’s reaction. There wasn’t one, he’d slipped back into apathy, head hanging. Harry began moving Lupin’s chair, and Snape followed meekly.

“You’ll be sharing with Harry for the next few days – I‘m not in any condition to help you through the night, and the full moon’s coming too.”

“What? With Potter?”

“Yes. You’re not in a state to be on your own. The right hand bed is yours. I’ll stay with you here for a bit though, Harry will take over later this evening.”

Snape sighed but walked into the room and sat on his bed. Finally he climbing under the covers and lay on his side, facing the wall. Harry left the room, leaving the two older men alone.

“Try and get some sleep if you can, Severus, you won’t get too much in the next few days.”

Loose ends chapter 11 - patience

Harry runs out of patience after less than 12 hours helping Snape. Angst, drug withdrawl (and for subsequent chapters). R

This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc

Patience
By four the next morning, Harry was starting to regret his offer to have Snape in his room and care for him through the night. He’d tolerated the complaining and begging. He’d remained admirably calm when Snape shouted and swore at him. He’d cleaned up the vomit without a word, even when the stomach cramps meant that Snape had missed the bowl. But the last straw was when a particularly violent cramp had been followed by an awful smell that he realised was diarrhoea. He walked out of the room and woke Lupin.

His eyes were refusing to work at all, but Lupin knew from the smell what was wrong immediately. He dragged himself from his bed and into the chair, and let Harry levitate him through to his room. Grimmy followed, ever eager to investigate the cause of an odour.

“Open the window, Harry.”

He did so, and gratefully breathed the cold air that blew in. Moros moved to the windowsill, looking suspiciously at the large dog.

“Grimmy, stay.”

Lupin pointed the dog to the corner of the room. He then spoke gently to Snape, who lay shivering on the bed with one arm across his head.

“Severus, I’m going to need to clean you up. We’ll take the top cover off, then I’ll use a spell. You might feel it, but it won’t hurt you.”

There was a flicker of acknowledgement in the bloodshot eyes.

“Was I like this?” Harry asked, when Lupin had cleaned up the mess, given Snape some water, and wiped threads of saliva from his face. He sounded sure that he had never been quite so disgusting.

“I’m afraid you were, Harry. Actually, you were quite a bit louder about it and complained rather more.”

“Oh,” he said. “How did you put up with it?”

“I put up with it because I had to. Because that’s what your parents and Sirius would have done, had they been here. And because I love you and would do anything for you.”

Harry was silent a moment. Lupin didn't say things like that often. After a moment, Harry looked across at Snape and dropped his voice.

“I know I wanted to do this but… well right now I’m wondering why. My parents and Sirius certainly wouldn't have done it, and I don’t even particularly like him. So how do I put up with this?”

Lupin sighed in response.

“I think that Lily would have done this, Harry. And you know that for all he’s done, for the Order, for the wizarding world, and for you Harry, he deserves better than to be abandoned to rot in his own misery. Someone has to do this for him and there's nobody else offereing. You don’t have to like him, but I know that you respect him as much as I do. Even if he makes it very difficult for anyone who tries to help him.”

Snape groaned, and Lupin turned his attention from Harry, noting that Snape was breathing heavily and his hand was clenched around the sheet.

“Sick,” he said suddenly, and began pushing himself up on his elbows. Lupin slipped the bowl under his head, and held his hair out of the way as he retched. The water he had drunk a few minutes before ended up in the bowl.

“I hate this.”

“I know,” Lupin responded softly, taking the bowl away.

“No you fucking don’t.”

“You’re right, “ Harry said suddenly, and got up from the corner where he had been sitting with Grimmy. He sat on the bed beside his former teacher, and looked up at Lupin, nodding that he was ready to have another try at finding the infinite patience required to help a man that doesn’t really want to be helped.

“He doesn’t know, not that way. But I do.”

Snape’s eyes flicked up at Harry.

“And who do you think was there, when I was begging and whining and puking and generally being a horrid shit.”

Snape continued to stare at Harry, then his eyes moved across to Lupin.

“That’s right. And despite that, he’s prepared to put up with it for a second time. He’s here in the middle of the night cleaning you up when he should be looking after himself and getting a decent sleep. So you might just want to be a bit more respectful of him.”

Snape glared at Harry. Lupin hid a smile. It was the kind of telling off he had given Harry on many occasions, from the time that Snape had caught him in the corridor at Hogwarts with the Marauder’s Map. He had clearly told Harry off often enough that the boy was starting to sound like him. He supposed it was better than copying Snape, who had told him off many more times – to little effect.

“You should get back to sleep, Remus. Go on, I’ll help you back.”

Harry helped Lupin back to bed. As he went to leave, Lupin took his arm.

“That was a brave and generous thing you did, Harry.”

He shrugged.

“I mean it, it’s not easy to admit to your own… problems, especially not to someone like Severus.”

“You seem to.”

“I’ve learned. I’ve had a lot of practice. I don’t like showing it more than anyone else, but I don’t really have a choice. And sometimes, like tonight, it’s just the right thing to do.”

Harry nodded, and returned to his room, hoping he’d found enough generosity to avoid killing Snape before morning.

Loose ends chapter 12 - Sevvy

Snape gets trapped by his memories, and reveals far more than he intends. Reference to child abuse and neglect, and substance abuse. R

This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc

Sevvy
When Lupin awoke, late, he knew immediately that it was going to be a bad day. After he struggled into his chair, he could already hear Teddy running around. At least somebody had energy this morning. He didn’t even bother trying to move his chair, calling instead to Teddy, who would hear him easily, even if he didn’t raise his voice.

Teddy came in, running straight up to Lupin and colliding with his legs. He winced. Andromeda walked in after him, at a more sensible pace.

“Teddy, gentle.”

She picked the boy up and placed him in Lupin’s lap.

“Be gentle, Teddy, Daddy’s not feeling well today.”

“Is it that obvious?” Lupin asked.

“I’m afraid so. Did I hear you up in the night?”

“Harry needed a hand.” He didn’t need to give Andromeda any further explanation. She’d been there with Harry, and knew what was involved. “Any signs of life from them this morning.”

“Harry came and made himself a cup of coffee about twenty minutes ago. He said that he’d had some sleep and that Severus had been a bit more settled.”

Lupin nodded. When Teddy became restless, Andromeda insisted that Lupin had breakfast before he went to check on Harry and Snape.

“You need to look after yourself,” she said. “You’ve got the day to get through too.”

Lupin had managed most of his porridge and half of his tea before Harry came looking for him.

“Morning Remus,” he said, noting the man’s tired face and pained expression. “I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I think we need you again.”

Lupin nodded, still holding his cup of tea as Harry took him through to the room.

Snape was curled into a foetal position on the bed, huddled as far into the corner as he could get. Lupin paused a moment to listen to the strange, muffled gulps coming from the man. He remembered the one time he had heard the sound before, and felt a wrench at his gut.

“He’s crying,” Lupin said softly.

Harry nodded, looking profoundly uncomfortable.

“He was lying there this morning, he’d been very quiet and didn’t respond when I spoke to him, so I put a hand on his shoulder. That upset him – he pulled away into the corner like that. He stayed huddled there for some time, then the crying started. He doesn’t respond to anything I say, and he panics if I touch him.”

“Has he said anything?”

“He’s said ‘no’ a couple of times when I’ve put my hand on him. That’s it.”

Harry moved Lupin’s chair close in to the bed, and he leaned across to Snape.

“Severus, can you listen to me please?”

His voice was very calm, very gentle. There was no response from Snape. He tried again.

“Severus, can you hear me?”

Lupin leaned across, just able to reach where Snape sat with his left hand.

“Severus, I need you to listen to me please. I going to put my hand on your arm. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He gently took his hand and placed it on Snape’s arm. The crying increased slightly and the arm pulled away from him.

“No, please.”

Lupin pulled his hand away.

“It’s okay, Severus. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He paused a moment.

“I’m going to put my hand on your arm again. Can you tell me if I’m hurting you?”

Lupin placed his hand on the arm again. Again, Snape flinched away.

“Severus, is that hurting you?”

There was a brief pause before Snape said no.

“Severus you are safe here. Nobody will harm you.”

Suddenly two bloodshot, teary eyes were staring intently at him.

Lupin kept his hand on the arm.

“Can you tell me what the matter is? Can you tell me why you’re crying?”

His question seemed to make the man cry harder.

“Mustn’t cry,” he whimpered.

Lupin breathed slowly, his voice very calm.

“Severus, it’s okay to cry. I’m just asking because if you tell me, maybe I can help you.”

Suddenly, a spasm seemed to go through Snape’s body, and he gave a moan.

“My tummy hurts,” he said, and was sick over himself and the bed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”

Snape was panicking now. His breath came in gasps and he was struggling away from Lupin. He scrambled across the bed and fell to the floor, curling himself up as tightly as he could.

“Harry, can you help me down next to him please?”

Lupin settled himself down beside Snape. The floor was definitely not comfortable, and his hip ached worse than usual this morning, after yesterday’s fall. But at least he could get close to Snape here, might be able to calm him better.

“Severus, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to put my hand on your shoulder.”

He touched Snape’s shoulder, feeling the clenched muscles. He slid his hand to the centre of the back and began to rub gently.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” Snape whimpered again. “Please don’t tell father I was bad.”

“You’re not bad, Severus.”

“I am bad. That’s why he needs to punish me.”

Harry was staring in horror. Lupin looked back at him. Snape would hate that Lupin had seen this, but Lupin suspected he would be a lot more upset if Harry saw it too.

“Harry, do you think you could leave us?”

Harry understood.

“Call me if you need anything,” he said before leaving the room.

“Severus, you’re not bad. I won’t punish you, and I won’t allow your father to punish you.”

Snape was staring at Lupin.

“You can’t. Mother can’t stop him. He hits her if she tries.”

Snape began to sob harder.

“How does he punish you, Severus?”

“Mostly with his.. belt. If I’m really bad he uses… the end with the buckle… Sometimes he… he locks me in the cupboard… Sometimes… he hits me or… kicks me.”

Lupin continued to gently rub Snape’s back. He’d suspected most of this, but hadn’t been sure. Snape would be mortified that he’d revealed so much, but Lupin had to know in order to care for him properly. “I won’t hurt you like that, Severus, I would never punish you in those ways.”

“But you can’t stop Father. He could beat you up,” Snape replied, sounding almost proud.

“Your Father isn’t here right now Severus. He won’t come here, I promise.”

Snape wriggled closer, burrowing his head against Lupin’s neck. Ragged, gasping sobs gradually became more steady crying. Lupin could feel utter desperation in the way he clung, his hand clutching Lupin’s shirt. Even over the smell of vomit and sweat, he could smell the fear.

As Snape calmed, he looked up questioningly at Lupin.

“Who are you?”

Interesting. He didn’t remember from last time.

“My name’s Remus. I’m a friend of your cousin Clarridge.”

Snape nodded, biting his lip in concentration, a mannerism that Lupin remembered from the first couple of years at Hogwarts.

“Clarridge calls you Sevvy, doesn’t he.”

Snape nodded again.

“Do you like being called Sevvy?”

“Yes,” Snape replied softly. “Only Clarridge calls me Sevvy.”

“Can I?” Lupin asked.

“Yes.” Snape suddenly gave a small smile, and cuddled in closer to Lupin again.

“Okay Sevvy.” Lupin held him in his arm, feeling some of the tension leave the man’s body.

Lupin was starting to get uncomfortable on the hard floor.

“Sevvy, do you think you would be ready to get back into bed now.”

“I was sick. It’s dirty.”

“If I call Harry, he can change the bed. You will have a nice clean bed, and some clean pyjamas. And Harry will help me get up off the floor.”

“Who’s Harry?”

“He lives here with me. He’s the son of one of my friends. He’s nice.”

“Okay.”

Lupin called to Harry, who appeared quickly. Lupin suspected he had been listening outside the door, but decided denial was the best policy.

“Sevvy, this is Harry.”

Snape stared. Harry crouched down and offered his hand.

“Hello,” Harry said. “It is okay if I call you Sevvy too?”

Snape nodded, and cautiously took Harry’s hand.

“Harry will change your bed now,” Lupin said. “Then we will get you into clean pyjamas and back to bed.”

Snape stayed as Sevvy all day. Somehow it was worse watching Sevvy suffer than watching the adult Snape. He didn’t understand what was happening, but, although in obvious pain, he was clearly trying hard not to complain or cry. He asked when his parents were coming to get him and Lupin couldn’t tell whether he was hoping they would come, or hoping they wouldn’t. As long as Lupin stayed with him, he was mostly calm. However he gave far less warning than the adult Snape when he was sick or needed to use the toilet, and panicked when he vomited over the bed or had an accident. Then, he would beg that his parents weren’t told that he’d been bad. Twice Lupin had to coax him out from under the bed, and once Andromeda had to find him when he fled the room. She eventually found him huddled on the laundry floor, holding his arms over his head to protect himself from the expected blows.

If Lupin wanted to leave the room, Sevvy followed, no matter how ill he was feeling. Lupin drew the line at being followed into the toilet, and Sevvy sat outside the door crying desperately until he came back out.

Teddy was jealous of the attention Sevvy was receiving, and insisted on spending much more of the day than usual sitting on his father’s lap. Sevvy looked resentful when Teddy occupied Lupin’s attention, but appeared too afraid to complain. Eventually, Lupin found a compromise by asking Andromeda to widen his chair, allowing Sevvy to sit close beside him while Teddy was in his lap. Lupin was cautious, remembering Clarridge’s comment about the boy’s temper, but Sevvy caused no trouble.

It was inevitable that the combined demands of Sevvy and Teddy would push Lupin beyond his limited endurance. What had started as a bad day in the morning had turned into a very bad day by three o’clock. Andromeda sent her Patronus to alert Harry that he was needed – there was no way that she could handle both Teddy and Sevvy alone.

Harry returned to find an anxious Andromeda sitting in Lupin’s room with a crying Teddy in her arms. Lupin lay on the bed, tremors running through his body. He looked up at Harry and his mouth attempted a smile. He managed a grimace.

“Where’s…um…Severus.”

Andromeda looked out the window to the back garden, where a persistent rain was falling. The back half of Grimmy was visible under a shrub.

“Grimmy’s stayed with him. At least I know that way he won’t go further, although he can’t actually leave the property with the wards set.”

She gave a sigh, and appeared on the verge of tears.

“I raised my voice to him. He wouldn’t leave Remus when he needed to rest. I tried to get him to come out of the room and he refused. He climbed up on the bed with him, which just made things worse of course, so I told him “no” and to get off the bed immediately. I was rather harsher than I intended, and he just completely panicked. He ran to the bathroom, and when I followed him there, he got so distressed I thought it was best to leave him. When I did leave him, he ran outside. I thought I’d lost him at first, but then Grimmy found him. He must be so cold and wet and frightened.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’ll see what I can do with him now.”

Harry cautiously approached the scruffy box honeysuckle in the corner of the garden. It was unpruned, and sprawled over a couple of metres. It created a good hiding place, although Harry would have known where to find Snape even without Grimmy. The black owl perched in the apple tree was staring directly at that spot with unblinking eyes. Harry crouched beside the bush and peered into the tangle at the bedraggled wet dog, and the even more bedraggled Snape.

‘What are you doing under there, Sevvy? That can’t be comfortable,” he said.

Snape wasn’t looking at him. His arms were curled over his head, his face buried in his knees. Harry could see he was crying, as well as starting to shiver from cold.

“Sevvy? Come on Sevvy, why don’t you come out here to me?”

Harry wondered whether he could fit under the bush too. He asked Grimmy to sit nearby, then leaned in and reached out to Snape, who flinched away at his touch.

“Sevvy, it’s me, Harry. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Why don’t you come out from under there and we can go inside and get you some dry clothes.”

Harry could see that Snape was not responding. He debated the wisdom of lifting him magically and bringing him out or waiting until Lupin was recovered enough to coax him from his hiding place. That could be a while though.

“Sevvy, you are going to get sick if you stay under there much longer, so I’m going to bring you out with magic.”

Carefully, Harry levitated Snape just slightly, then brought him out slowly. Snape began to whimper in fear and cringed away from Harry, who backed away slightly to avoid distressing him further. The man was soaking wet, and Harry was rapidly heading that way himself.

“Grimmy’s right here, Sevvy. Why don’t you come inside with him and we can get some dry clothes for you.”

“No.”

“Come on Sevvy, it’s okay. You know I won’t hurt you.”

Snape was silent except for the faint crying which he was obviously trying to suppress.

“If you come in, you can sit in Remus’s room once you are changed.”

“I hurt him. I’m sorry,” Snape whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t hurt him. He’s sick, he just needs to rest.”

“No, I was bad. I hurt him. I… I’m bad.”

Harry sighed and pushed his dripping hair away from his face. He wiped a few raindrops from his glasses then gave up as the drops were immediately replaced. He knelt in front of Snape, and placed his hands firmly on his shoulders so he couldn’t flee.

“Listen to me, Sevvy,” he said, “it is not your fault, you are not bad. Remus will be ok when he has rested for a while.”

Snape looked back up at him.

“Does he take potions?”

Harry paused at the apparent shift in the discussion.

“What do you mean Sevvy?”

“My mother takes potions. That’s why sometimes she gets angry and sometimes she just sleeps and sometimes she wants me to go away. Does Remus take potions?”

Harry felt a chill inside him, to add to the damp chill in his body.

“No Sevvy, that’s not why he’s sick. He…” Harry paused, trying to explain it simply. “He got hurt, in a war. That’s why he can’t really walk and has the scar on his face. He was very brave and helped a lot of people, but now sometimes he gets tired and sick.”

Snape nodded, the explanation apparently enough. Harry noticed how much he was shaking. At first he’d thought it was the cold, but now he started to worry that it was something more.

“Please, Sevvy, you really need to come inside now.”

He put out his hand and Snape took it. He led him quietly back into the house, Grimmy following closely. He led Snape into his room and helped him change into dry pyjamas. Then, as promised, he took Snape to Lupin’s room.

By the time Snape was sitting on the floor beside Lupin’s bed, it was obvious that the trembling was something more than just cold, fear or even withdrawal. Lupin, now well enough to take Snape’s hand without it sending him into a convulsion, looked at Harry pointedly.

“You know what this is?”

Harry nodded.

“There was a bottle of the anti-Crucio potion there when I searched his flat. It wasn’t something he made, it was from St Mungo’s. I didn’t pay it much attention as it’s not addictive.”

“You don’t have any do you? It might be a good idea if you go and get his.”

“You think?” Harry responded, half sarcastic. Lupin was the master of grand understatement.

“I’ll have a word to Andromeda, then go.”

When Harry returned, he found Lupin nearly asleep and Snape curled up against him on the bed. The tremors were worse, but were far from their full intensity. Andromeda sat beside them on the chair. She had finally got a very grumpy Teddy to sleep for his nap, two hours late.

He grabbed a spoon and quickly measured out the potion for Snape, who took it without trouble. Snape sighed, and cuddled his head into the back of Lupin’s neck. The potion would make him sleepy, and reduce his other symptoms as well so perhaps he would get some rest. Unfortunately, any potion that reduced the Dreamless Sleep withdrawal symptoms would also prolong them, so he would pay later.

Harry leaned across to Lupin.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m feeling better, it’s passed now. I just want to sleep. Not entirely comfortable with this situation, but I’ll get over it.”

Harry smiled. He admired Lupin’s patience, once again. He couldn’t say it looked comfortable at all, two men in the single bed which was really too small for Lupin alone. He was reminded of Grimmy, who occasionally decided he wanted to be a lap dog. Completely unaware of his size, he would attempt to climb up onto Lupin as he sat in his chair. If it wasn’t a bad day, Lupin would transfigure the chair into something larger so that Grimmy could drape himself across Lupin’s lap, the fierce-looking dog appearing really quite absurd, but very happy.