Loose ends chapter 11 - patience
Feb. 15th, 2017 10:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coriariaHarry runs out of patience after less than 12 hours helping Snape. Angst, drug withdrawl (and for subsequent chapters). R
This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc
Patience
By four the next morning, Harry was starting to regret his offer to have Snape in his room and care for him through the night. He’d tolerated the complaining and begging. He’d remained admirably calm when Snape shouted and swore at him. He’d cleaned up the vomit without a word, even when the stomach cramps meant that Snape had missed the bowl. But the last straw was when a particularly violent cramp had been followed by an awful smell that he realised was diarrhoea. He walked out of the room and woke Lupin.
His eyes were refusing to work at all, but Lupin knew from the smell what was wrong immediately. He dragged himself from his bed and into the chair, and let Harry levitate him through to his room. Grimmy followed, ever eager to investigate the cause of an odour.
“Open the window, Harry.”
He did so, and gratefully breathed the cold air that blew in. Moros moved to the windowsill, looking suspiciously at the large dog.
“Grimmy, stay.”
Lupin pointed the dog to the corner of the room. He then spoke gently to Snape, who lay shivering on the bed with one arm across his head.
“Severus, I’m going to need to clean you up. We’ll take the top cover off, then I’ll use a spell. You might feel it, but it won’t hurt you.”
There was a flicker of acknowledgement in the bloodshot eyes.
“Was I like this?” Harry asked, when Lupin had cleaned up the mess, given Snape some water, and wiped threads of saliva from his face. He sounded sure that he had never been quite so disgusting.
“I’m afraid you were, Harry. Actually, you were quite a bit louder about it and complained rather more.”
“Oh,” he said. “How did you put up with it?”
“I put up with it because I had to. Because that’s what your parents and Sirius would have done, had they been here. And because I love you and would do anything for you.”
Harry was silent a moment. Lupin didn't say things like that often. After a moment, Harry looked across at Snape and dropped his voice.
“I know I wanted to do this but… well right now I’m wondering why. My parents and Sirius certainly wouldn't have done it, and I don’t even particularly like him. So how do I put up with this?”
Lupin sighed in response.
“I think that Lily would have done this, Harry. And you know that for all he’s done, for the Order, for the wizarding world, and for you Harry, he deserves better than to be abandoned to rot in his own misery. Someone has to do this for him and there's nobody else offereing. You don’t have to like him, but I know that you respect him as much as I do. Even if he makes it very difficult for anyone who tries to help him.”
Snape groaned, and Lupin turned his attention from Harry, noting that Snape was breathing heavily and his hand was clenched around the sheet.
“Sick,” he said suddenly, and began pushing himself up on his elbows. Lupin slipped the bowl under his head, and held his hair out of the way as he retched. The water he had drunk a few minutes before ended up in the bowl.
“I hate this.”
“I know,” Lupin responded softly, taking the bowl away.
“No you fucking don’t.”
“You’re right, “ Harry said suddenly, and got up from the corner where he had been sitting with Grimmy. He sat on the bed beside his former teacher, and looked up at Lupin, nodding that he was ready to have another try at finding the infinite patience required to help a man that doesn’t really want to be helped.
“He doesn’t know, not that way. But I do.”
Snape’s eyes flicked up at Harry.
“And who do you think was there, when I was begging and whining and puking and generally being a horrid shit.”
Snape continued to stare at Harry, then his eyes moved across to Lupin.
“That’s right. And despite that, he’s prepared to put up with it for a second time. He’s here in the middle of the night cleaning you up when he should be looking after himself and getting a decent sleep. So you might just want to be a bit more respectful of him.”
Snape glared at Harry. Lupin hid a smile. It was the kind of telling off he had given Harry on many occasions, from the time that Snape had caught him in the corridor at Hogwarts with the Marauder’s Map. He had clearly told Harry off often enough that the boy was starting to sound like him. He supposed it was better than copying Snape, who had told him off many more times – to little effect.
“You should get back to sleep, Remus. Go on, I’ll help you back.”
Harry helped Lupin back to bed. As he went to leave, Lupin took his arm.
“That was a brave and generous thing you did, Harry.”
He shrugged.
“I mean it, it’s not easy to admit to your own… problems, especially not to someone like Severus.”
“You seem to.”
“I’ve learned. I’ve had a lot of practice. I don’t like showing it more than anyone else, but I don’t really have a choice. And sometimes, like tonight, it’s just the right thing to do.”
Harry nodded, and returned to his room, hoping he’d found enough generosity to avoid killing Snape before morning.
This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc
Patience
By four the next morning, Harry was starting to regret his offer to have Snape in his room and care for him through the night. He’d tolerated the complaining and begging. He’d remained admirably calm when Snape shouted and swore at him. He’d cleaned up the vomit without a word, even when the stomach cramps meant that Snape had missed the bowl. But the last straw was when a particularly violent cramp had been followed by an awful smell that he realised was diarrhoea. He walked out of the room and woke Lupin.
His eyes were refusing to work at all, but Lupin knew from the smell what was wrong immediately. He dragged himself from his bed and into the chair, and let Harry levitate him through to his room. Grimmy followed, ever eager to investigate the cause of an odour.
“Open the window, Harry.”
He did so, and gratefully breathed the cold air that blew in. Moros moved to the windowsill, looking suspiciously at the large dog.
“Grimmy, stay.”
Lupin pointed the dog to the corner of the room. He then spoke gently to Snape, who lay shivering on the bed with one arm across his head.
“Severus, I’m going to need to clean you up. We’ll take the top cover off, then I’ll use a spell. You might feel it, but it won’t hurt you.”
There was a flicker of acknowledgement in the bloodshot eyes.
“Was I like this?” Harry asked, when Lupin had cleaned up the mess, given Snape some water, and wiped threads of saliva from his face. He sounded sure that he had never been quite so disgusting.
“I’m afraid you were, Harry. Actually, you were quite a bit louder about it and complained rather more.”
“Oh,” he said. “How did you put up with it?”
“I put up with it because I had to. Because that’s what your parents and Sirius would have done, had they been here. And because I love you and would do anything for you.”
Harry was silent a moment. Lupin didn't say things like that often. After a moment, Harry looked across at Snape and dropped his voice.
“I know I wanted to do this but… well right now I’m wondering why. My parents and Sirius certainly wouldn't have done it, and I don’t even particularly like him. So how do I put up with this?”
Lupin sighed in response.
“I think that Lily would have done this, Harry. And you know that for all he’s done, for the Order, for the wizarding world, and for you Harry, he deserves better than to be abandoned to rot in his own misery. Someone has to do this for him and there's nobody else offereing. You don’t have to like him, but I know that you respect him as much as I do. Even if he makes it very difficult for anyone who tries to help him.”
Snape groaned, and Lupin turned his attention from Harry, noting that Snape was breathing heavily and his hand was clenched around the sheet.
“Sick,” he said suddenly, and began pushing himself up on his elbows. Lupin slipped the bowl under his head, and held his hair out of the way as he retched. The water he had drunk a few minutes before ended up in the bowl.
“I hate this.”
“I know,” Lupin responded softly, taking the bowl away.
“No you fucking don’t.”
“You’re right, “ Harry said suddenly, and got up from the corner where he had been sitting with Grimmy. He sat on the bed beside his former teacher, and looked up at Lupin, nodding that he was ready to have another try at finding the infinite patience required to help a man that doesn’t really want to be helped.
“He doesn’t know, not that way. But I do.”
Snape’s eyes flicked up at Harry.
“And who do you think was there, when I was begging and whining and puking and generally being a horrid shit.”
Snape continued to stare at Harry, then his eyes moved across to Lupin.
“That’s right. And despite that, he’s prepared to put up with it for a second time. He’s here in the middle of the night cleaning you up when he should be looking after himself and getting a decent sleep. So you might just want to be a bit more respectful of him.”
Snape glared at Harry. Lupin hid a smile. It was the kind of telling off he had given Harry on many occasions, from the time that Snape had caught him in the corridor at Hogwarts with the Marauder’s Map. He had clearly told Harry off often enough that the boy was starting to sound like him. He supposed it was better than copying Snape, who had told him off many more times – to little effect.
“You should get back to sleep, Remus. Go on, I’ll help you back.”
Harry helped Lupin back to bed. As he went to leave, Lupin took his arm.
“That was a brave and generous thing you did, Harry.”
He shrugged.
“I mean it, it’s not easy to admit to your own… problems, especially not to someone like Severus.”
“You seem to.”
“I’ve learned. I’ve had a lot of practice. I don’t like showing it more than anyone else, but I don’t really have a choice. And sometimes, like tonight, it’s just the right thing to do.”
Harry nodded, and returned to his room, hoping he’d found enough generosity to avoid killing Snape before morning.
