Loose ends chapter 12 - Sevvy
Feb. 15th, 2017 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coriariaSnape gets trapped by his memories, and reveals far more than he intends. Reference to child abuse and neglect, and substance abuse. R
This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc
Sevvy
When Lupin awoke, late, he knew immediately that it was going to be a bad day. After he struggled into his chair, he could already hear Teddy running around. At least somebody had energy this morning. He didn’t even bother trying to move his chair, calling instead to Teddy, who would hear him easily, even if he didn’t raise his voice.
Teddy came in, running straight up to Lupin and colliding with his legs. He winced. Andromeda walked in after him, at a more sensible pace.
“Teddy, gentle.”
She picked the boy up and placed him in Lupin’s lap.
“Be gentle, Teddy, Daddy’s not feeling well today.”
“Is it that obvious?” Lupin asked.
“I’m afraid so. Did I hear you up in the night?”
“Harry needed a hand.” He didn’t need to give Andromeda any further explanation. She’d been there with Harry, and knew what was involved. “Any signs of life from them this morning.”
“Harry came and made himself a cup of coffee about twenty minutes ago. He said that he’d had some sleep and that Severus had been a bit more settled.”
Lupin nodded. When Teddy became restless, Andromeda insisted that Lupin had breakfast before he went to check on Harry and Snape.
“You need to look after yourself,” she said. “You’ve got the day to get through too.”
Lupin had managed most of his porridge and half of his tea before Harry came looking for him.
“Morning Remus,” he said, noting the man’s tired face and pained expression. “I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I think we need you again.”
Lupin nodded, still holding his cup of tea as Harry took him through to the room.
Snape was curled into a foetal position on the bed, huddled as far into the corner as he could get. Lupin paused a moment to listen to the strange, muffled gulps coming from the man. He remembered the one time he had heard the sound before, and felt a wrench at his gut.
“He’s crying,” Lupin said softly.
Harry nodded, looking profoundly uncomfortable.
“He was lying there this morning, he’d been very quiet and didn’t respond when I spoke to him, so I put a hand on his shoulder. That upset him – he pulled away into the corner like that. He stayed huddled there for some time, then the crying started. He doesn’t respond to anything I say, and he panics if I touch him.”
“Has he said anything?”
“He’s said ‘no’ a couple of times when I’ve put my hand on him. That’s it.”
Harry moved Lupin’s chair close in to the bed, and he leaned across to Snape.
“Severus, can you listen to me please?”
His voice was very calm, very gentle. There was no response from Snape. He tried again.
“Severus, can you hear me?”
Lupin leaned across, just able to reach where Snape sat with his left hand.
“Severus, I need you to listen to me please. I going to put my hand on your arm. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He gently took his hand and placed it on Snape’s arm. The crying increased slightly and the arm pulled away from him.
“No, please.”
Lupin pulled his hand away.
“It’s okay, Severus. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He paused a moment.
“I’m going to put my hand on your arm again. Can you tell me if I’m hurting you?”
Lupin placed his hand on the arm again. Again, Snape flinched away.
“Severus, is that hurting you?”
There was a brief pause before Snape said no.
“Severus you are safe here. Nobody will harm you.”
Suddenly two bloodshot, teary eyes were staring intently at him.
Lupin kept his hand on the arm.
“Can you tell me what the matter is? Can you tell me why you’re crying?”
His question seemed to make the man cry harder.
“Mustn’t cry,” he whimpered.
Lupin breathed slowly, his voice very calm.
“Severus, it’s okay to cry. I’m just asking because if you tell me, maybe I can help you.”
Suddenly, a spasm seemed to go through Snape’s body, and he gave a moan.
“My tummy hurts,” he said, and was sick over himself and the bed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”
Snape was panicking now. His breath came in gasps and he was struggling away from Lupin. He scrambled across the bed and fell to the floor, curling himself up as tightly as he could.
“Harry, can you help me down next to him please?”
Lupin settled himself down beside Snape. The floor was definitely not comfortable, and his hip ached worse than usual this morning, after yesterday’s fall. But at least he could get close to Snape here, might be able to calm him better.
“Severus, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to put my hand on your shoulder.”
He touched Snape’s shoulder, feeling the clenched muscles. He slid his hand to the centre of the back and began to rub gently.
“Shh, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Snape whimpered again. “Please don’t tell father I was bad.”
“You’re not bad, Severus.”
“I am bad. That’s why he needs to punish me.”
Harry was staring in horror. Lupin looked back at him. Snape would hate that Lupin had seen this, but Lupin suspected he would be a lot more upset if Harry saw it too.
“Harry, do you think you could leave us?”
Harry understood.
“Call me if you need anything,” he said before leaving the room.
“Severus, you’re not bad. I won’t punish you, and I won’t allow your father to punish you.”
Snape was staring at Lupin.
“You can’t. Mother can’t stop him. He hits her if she tries.”
Snape began to sob harder.
“How does he punish you, Severus?”
“Mostly with his.. belt. If I’m really bad he uses… the end with the buckle… Sometimes he… he locks me in the cupboard… Sometimes… he hits me or… kicks me.”
Lupin continued to gently rub Snape’s back. He’d suspected most of this, but hadn’t been sure. Snape would be mortified that he’d revealed so much, but Lupin had to know in order to care for him properly. “I won’t hurt you like that, Severus, I would never punish you in those ways.”
“But you can’t stop Father. He could beat you up,” Snape replied, sounding almost proud.
“Your Father isn’t here right now Severus. He won’t come here, I promise.”
Snape wriggled closer, burrowing his head against Lupin’s neck. Ragged, gasping sobs gradually became more steady crying. Lupin could feel utter desperation in the way he clung, his hand clutching Lupin’s shirt. Even over the smell of vomit and sweat, he could smell the fear.
As Snape calmed, he looked up questioningly at Lupin.
“Who are you?”
Interesting. He didn’t remember from last time.
“My name’s Remus. I’m a friend of your cousin Clarridge.”
Snape nodded, biting his lip in concentration, a mannerism that Lupin remembered from the first couple of years at Hogwarts.
“Clarridge calls you Sevvy, doesn’t he.”
Snape nodded again.
“Do you like being called Sevvy?”
“Yes,” Snape replied softly. “Only Clarridge calls me Sevvy.”
“Can I?” Lupin asked.
“Yes.” Snape suddenly gave a small smile, and cuddled in closer to Lupin again.
“Okay Sevvy.” Lupin held him in his arm, feeling some of the tension leave the man’s body.
Lupin was starting to get uncomfortable on the hard floor.
“Sevvy, do you think you would be ready to get back into bed now.”
“I was sick. It’s dirty.”
“If I call Harry, he can change the bed. You will have a nice clean bed, and some clean pyjamas. And Harry will help me get up off the floor.”
“Who’s Harry?”
“He lives here with me. He’s the son of one of my friends. He’s nice.”
“Okay.”
Lupin called to Harry, who appeared quickly. Lupin suspected he had been listening outside the door, but decided denial was the best policy.
“Sevvy, this is Harry.”
Snape stared. Harry crouched down and offered his hand.
“Hello,” Harry said. “It is okay if I call you Sevvy too?”
Snape nodded, and cautiously took Harry’s hand.
“Harry will change your bed now,” Lupin said. “Then we will get you into clean pyjamas and back to bed.”
Snape stayed as Sevvy all day. Somehow it was worse watching Sevvy suffer than watching the adult Snape. He didn’t understand what was happening, but, although in obvious pain, he was clearly trying hard not to complain or cry. He asked when his parents were coming to get him and Lupin couldn’t tell whether he was hoping they would come, or hoping they wouldn’t. As long as Lupin stayed with him, he was mostly calm. However he gave far less warning than the adult Snape when he was sick or needed to use the toilet, and panicked when he vomited over the bed or had an accident. Then, he would beg that his parents weren’t told that he’d been bad. Twice Lupin had to coax him out from under the bed, and once Andromeda had to find him when he fled the room. She eventually found him huddled on the laundry floor, holding his arms over his head to protect himself from the expected blows.
If Lupin wanted to leave the room, Sevvy followed, no matter how ill he was feeling. Lupin drew the line at being followed into the toilet, and Sevvy sat outside the door crying desperately until he came back out.
Teddy was jealous of the attention Sevvy was receiving, and insisted on spending much more of the day than usual sitting on his father’s lap. Sevvy looked resentful when Teddy occupied Lupin’s attention, but appeared too afraid to complain. Eventually, Lupin found a compromise by asking Andromeda to widen his chair, allowing Sevvy to sit close beside him while Teddy was in his lap. Lupin was cautious, remembering Clarridge’s comment about the boy’s temper, but Sevvy caused no trouble.
It was inevitable that the combined demands of Sevvy and Teddy would push Lupin beyond his limited endurance. What had started as a bad day in the morning had turned into a very bad day by three o’clock. Andromeda sent her Patronus to alert Harry that he was needed – there was no way that she could handle both Teddy and Sevvy alone.
Harry returned to find an anxious Andromeda sitting in Lupin’s room with a crying Teddy in her arms. Lupin lay on the bed, tremors running through his body. He looked up at Harry and his mouth attempted a smile. He managed a grimace.
“Where’s…um…Severus.”
Andromeda looked out the window to the back garden, where a persistent rain was falling. The back half of Grimmy was visible under a shrub.
“Grimmy’s stayed with him. At least I know that way he won’t go further, although he can’t actually leave the property with the wards set.”
She gave a sigh, and appeared on the verge of tears.
“I raised my voice to him. He wouldn’t leave Remus when he needed to rest. I tried to get him to come out of the room and he refused. He climbed up on the bed with him, which just made things worse of course, so I told him “no” and to get off the bed immediately. I was rather harsher than I intended, and he just completely panicked. He ran to the bathroom, and when I followed him there, he got so distressed I thought it was best to leave him. When I did leave him, he ran outside. I thought I’d lost him at first, but then Grimmy found him. He must be so cold and wet and frightened.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’ll see what I can do with him now.”
Harry cautiously approached the scruffy box honeysuckle in the corner of the garden. It was unpruned, and sprawled over a couple of metres. It created a good hiding place, although Harry would have known where to find Snape even without Grimmy. The black owl perched in the apple tree was staring directly at that spot with unblinking eyes. Harry crouched beside the bush and peered into the tangle at the bedraggled wet dog, and the even more bedraggled Snape.
‘What are you doing under there, Sevvy? That can’t be comfortable,” he said.
Snape wasn’t looking at him. His arms were curled over his head, his face buried in his knees. Harry could see he was crying, as well as starting to shiver from cold.
“Sevvy? Come on Sevvy, why don’t you come out here to me?”
Harry wondered whether he could fit under the bush too. He asked Grimmy to sit nearby, then leaned in and reached out to Snape, who flinched away at his touch.
“Sevvy, it’s me, Harry. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Why don’t you come out from under there and we can go inside and get you some dry clothes.”
Harry could see that Snape was not responding. He debated the wisdom of lifting him magically and bringing him out or waiting until Lupin was recovered enough to coax him from his hiding place. That could be a while though.
“Sevvy, you are going to get sick if you stay under there much longer, so I’m going to bring you out with magic.”
Carefully, Harry levitated Snape just slightly, then brought him out slowly. Snape began to whimper in fear and cringed away from Harry, who backed away slightly to avoid distressing him further. The man was soaking wet, and Harry was rapidly heading that way himself.
“Grimmy’s right here, Sevvy. Why don’t you come inside with him and we can get some dry clothes for you.”
“No.”
“Come on Sevvy, it’s okay. You know I won’t hurt you.”
Snape was silent except for the faint crying which he was obviously trying to suppress.
“If you come in, you can sit in Remus’s room once you are changed.”
“I hurt him. I’m sorry,” Snape whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t hurt him. He’s sick, he just needs to rest.”
“No, I was bad. I hurt him. I… I’m bad.”
Harry sighed and pushed his dripping hair away from his face. He wiped a few raindrops from his glasses then gave up as the drops were immediately replaced. He knelt in front of Snape, and placed his hands firmly on his shoulders so he couldn’t flee.
“Listen to me, Sevvy,” he said, “it is not your fault, you are not bad. Remus will be ok when he has rested for a while.”
Snape looked back up at him.
“Does he take potions?”
Harry paused at the apparent shift in the discussion.
“What do you mean Sevvy?”
“My mother takes potions. That’s why sometimes she gets angry and sometimes she just sleeps and sometimes she wants me to go away. Does Remus take potions?”
Harry felt a chill inside him, to add to the damp chill in his body.
“No Sevvy, that’s not why he’s sick. He…” Harry paused, trying to explain it simply. “He got hurt, in a war. That’s why he can’t really walk and has the scar on his face. He was very brave and helped a lot of people, but now sometimes he gets tired and sick.”
Snape nodded, the explanation apparently enough. Harry noticed how much he was shaking. At first he’d thought it was the cold, but now he started to worry that it was something more.
“Please, Sevvy, you really need to come inside now.”
He put out his hand and Snape took it. He led him quietly back into the house, Grimmy following closely. He led Snape into his room and helped him change into dry pyjamas. Then, as promised, he took Snape to Lupin’s room.
By the time Snape was sitting on the floor beside Lupin’s bed, it was obvious that the trembling was something more than just cold, fear or even withdrawal. Lupin, now well enough to take Snape’s hand without it sending him into a convulsion, looked at Harry pointedly.
“You know what this is?”
Harry nodded.
“There was a bottle of the anti-Crucio potion there when I searched his flat. It wasn’t something he made, it was from St Mungo’s. I didn’t pay it much attention as it’s not addictive.”
“You don’t have any do you? It might be a good idea if you go and get his.”
“You think?” Harry responded, half sarcastic. Lupin was the master of grand understatement.
“I’ll have a word to Andromeda, then go.”
When Harry returned, he found Lupin nearly asleep and Snape curled up against him on the bed. The tremors were worse, but were far from their full intensity. Andromeda sat beside them on the chair. She had finally got a very grumpy Teddy to sleep for his nap, two hours late.
He grabbed a spoon and quickly measured out the potion for Snape, who took it without trouble. Snape sighed, and cuddled his head into the back of Lupin’s neck. The potion would make him sleepy, and reduce his other symptoms as well so perhaps he would get some rest. Unfortunately, any potion that reduced the Dreamless Sleep withdrawal symptoms would also prolong them, so he would pay later.
Harry leaned across to Lupin.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m feeling better, it’s passed now. I just want to sleep. Not entirely comfortable with this situation, but I’ll get over it.”
Harry smiled. He admired Lupin’s patience, once again. He couldn’t say it looked comfortable at all, two men in the single bed which was really too small for Lupin alone. He was reminded of Grimmy, who occasionally decided he wanted to be a lap dog. Completely unaware of his size, he would attempt to climb up onto Lupin as he sat in his chair. If it wasn’t a bad day, Lupin would transfigure the chair into something larger so that Grimmy could drape himself across Lupin’s lap, the fierce-looking dog appearing really quite absurd, but very happy.
This is a work of fan fiction. The world and all recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I make no claim or profit etc
Sevvy
When Lupin awoke, late, he knew immediately that it was going to be a bad day. After he struggled into his chair, he could already hear Teddy running around. At least somebody had energy this morning. He didn’t even bother trying to move his chair, calling instead to Teddy, who would hear him easily, even if he didn’t raise his voice.
Teddy came in, running straight up to Lupin and colliding with his legs. He winced. Andromeda walked in after him, at a more sensible pace.
“Teddy, gentle.”
She picked the boy up and placed him in Lupin’s lap.
“Be gentle, Teddy, Daddy’s not feeling well today.”
“Is it that obvious?” Lupin asked.
“I’m afraid so. Did I hear you up in the night?”
“Harry needed a hand.” He didn’t need to give Andromeda any further explanation. She’d been there with Harry, and knew what was involved. “Any signs of life from them this morning.”
“Harry came and made himself a cup of coffee about twenty minutes ago. He said that he’d had some sleep and that Severus had been a bit more settled.”
Lupin nodded. When Teddy became restless, Andromeda insisted that Lupin had breakfast before he went to check on Harry and Snape.
“You need to look after yourself,” she said. “You’ve got the day to get through too.”
Lupin had managed most of his porridge and half of his tea before Harry came looking for him.
“Morning Remus,” he said, noting the man’s tired face and pained expression. “I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I think we need you again.”
Lupin nodded, still holding his cup of tea as Harry took him through to the room.
Snape was curled into a foetal position on the bed, huddled as far into the corner as he could get. Lupin paused a moment to listen to the strange, muffled gulps coming from the man. He remembered the one time he had heard the sound before, and felt a wrench at his gut.
“He’s crying,” Lupin said softly.
Harry nodded, looking profoundly uncomfortable.
“He was lying there this morning, he’d been very quiet and didn’t respond when I spoke to him, so I put a hand on his shoulder. That upset him – he pulled away into the corner like that. He stayed huddled there for some time, then the crying started. He doesn’t respond to anything I say, and he panics if I touch him.”
“Has he said anything?”
“He’s said ‘no’ a couple of times when I’ve put my hand on him. That’s it.”
Harry moved Lupin’s chair close in to the bed, and he leaned across to Snape.
“Severus, can you listen to me please?”
His voice was very calm, very gentle. There was no response from Snape. He tried again.
“Severus, can you hear me?”
Lupin leaned across, just able to reach where Snape sat with his left hand.
“Severus, I need you to listen to me please. I going to put my hand on your arm. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He gently took his hand and placed it on Snape’s arm. The crying increased slightly and the arm pulled away from him.
“No, please.”
Lupin pulled his hand away.
“It’s okay, Severus. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He paused a moment.
“I’m going to put my hand on your arm again. Can you tell me if I’m hurting you?”
Lupin placed his hand on the arm again. Again, Snape flinched away.
“Severus, is that hurting you?”
There was a brief pause before Snape said no.
“Severus you are safe here. Nobody will harm you.”
Suddenly two bloodshot, teary eyes were staring intently at him.
Lupin kept his hand on the arm.
“Can you tell me what the matter is? Can you tell me why you’re crying?”
His question seemed to make the man cry harder.
“Mustn’t cry,” he whimpered.
Lupin breathed slowly, his voice very calm.
“Severus, it’s okay to cry. I’m just asking because if you tell me, maybe I can help you.”
Suddenly, a spasm seemed to go through Snape’s body, and he gave a moan.
“My tummy hurts,” he said, and was sick over himself and the bed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”
Snape was panicking now. His breath came in gasps and he was struggling away from Lupin. He scrambled across the bed and fell to the floor, curling himself up as tightly as he could.
“Harry, can you help me down next to him please?”
Lupin settled himself down beside Snape. The floor was definitely not comfortable, and his hip ached worse than usual this morning, after yesterday’s fall. But at least he could get close to Snape here, might be able to calm him better.
“Severus, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to put my hand on your shoulder.”
He touched Snape’s shoulder, feeling the clenched muscles. He slid his hand to the centre of the back and began to rub gently.
“Shh, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Snape whimpered again. “Please don’t tell father I was bad.”
“You’re not bad, Severus.”
“I am bad. That’s why he needs to punish me.”
Harry was staring in horror. Lupin looked back at him. Snape would hate that Lupin had seen this, but Lupin suspected he would be a lot more upset if Harry saw it too.
“Harry, do you think you could leave us?”
Harry understood.
“Call me if you need anything,” he said before leaving the room.
“Severus, you’re not bad. I won’t punish you, and I won’t allow your father to punish you.”
Snape was staring at Lupin.
“You can’t. Mother can’t stop him. He hits her if she tries.”
Snape began to sob harder.
“How does he punish you, Severus?”
“Mostly with his.. belt. If I’m really bad he uses… the end with the buckle… Sometimes he… he locks me in the cupboard… Sometimes… he hits me or… kicks me.”
Lupin continued to gently rub Snape’s back. He’d suspected most of this, but hadn’t been sure. Snape would be mortified that he’d revealed so much, but Lupin had to know in order to care for him properly. “I won’t hurt you like that, Severus, I would never punish you in those ways.”
“But you can’t stop Father. He could beat you up,” Snape replied, sounding almost proud.
“Your Father isn’t here right now Severus. He won’t come here, I promise.”
Snape wriggled closer, burrowing his head against Lupin’s neck. Ragged, gasping sobs gradually became more steady crying. Lupin could feel utter desperation in the way he clung, his hand clutching Lupin’s shirt. Even over the smell of vomit and sweat, he could smell the fear.
As Snape calmed, he looked up questioningly at Lupin.
“Who are you?”
Interesting. He didn’t remember from last time.
“My name’s Remus. I’m a friend of your cousin Clarridge.”
Snape nodded, biting his lip in concentration, a mannerism that Lupin remembered from the first couple of years at Hogwarts.
“Clarridge calls you Sevvy, doesn’t he.”
Snape nodded again.
“Do you like being called Sevvy?”
“Yes,” Snape replied softly. “Only Clarridge calls me Sevvy.”
“Can I?” Lupin asked.
“Yes.” Snape suddenly gave a small smile, and cuddled in closer to Lupin again.
“Okay Sevvy.” Lupin held him in his arm, feeling some of the tension leave the man’s body.
Lupin was starting to get uncomfortable on the hard floor.
“Sevvy, do you think you would be ready to get back into bed now.”
“I was sick. It’s dirty.”
“If I call Harry, he can change the bed. You will have a nice clean bed, and some clean pyjamas. And Harry will help me get up off the floor.”
“Who’s Harry?”
“He lives here with me. He’s the son of one of my friends. He’s nice.”
“Okay.”
Lupin called to Harry, who appeared quickly. Lupin suspected he had been listening outside the door, but decided denial was the best policy.
“Sevvy, this is Harry.”
Snape stared. Harry crouched down and offered his hand.
“Hello,” Harry said. “It is okay if I call you Sevvy too?”
Snape nodded, and cautiously took Harry’s hand.
“Harry will change your bed now,” Lupin said. “Then we will get you into clean pyjamas and back to bed.”
Snape stayed as Sevvy all day. Somehow it was worse watching Sevvy suffer than watching the adult Snape. He didn’t understand what was happening, but, although in obvious pain, he was clearly trying hard not to complain or cry. He asked when his parents were coming to get him and Lupin couldn’t tell whether he was hoping they would come, or hoping they wouldn’t. As long as Lupin stayed with him, he was mostly calm. However he gave far less warning than the adult Snape when he was sick or needed to use the toilet, and panicked when he vomited over the bed or had an accident. Then, he would beg that his parents weren’t told that he’d been bad. Twice Lupin had to coax him out from under the bed, and once Andromeda had to find him when he fled the room. She eventually found him huddled on the laundry floor, holding his arms over his head to protect himself from the expected blows.
If Lupin wanted to leave the room, Sevvy followed, no matter how ill he was feeling. Lupin drew the line at being followed into the toilet, and Sevvy sat outside the door crying desperately until he came back out.
Teddy was jealous of the attention Sevvy was receiving, and insisted on spending much more of the day than usual sitting on his father’s lap. Sevvy looked resentful when Teddy occupied Lupin’s attention, but appeared too afraid to complain. Eventually, Lupin found a compromise by asking Andromeda to widen his chair, allowing Sevvy to sit close beside him while Teddy was in his lap. Lupin was cautious, remembering Clarridge’s comment about the boy’s temper, but Sevvy caused no trouble.
It was inevitable that the combined demands of Sevvy and Teddy would push Lupin beyond his limited endurance. What had started as a bad day in the morning had turned into a very bad day by three o’clock. Andromeda sent her Patronus to alert Harry that he was needed – there was no way that she could handle both Teddy and Sevvy alone.
Harry returned to find an anxious Andromeda sitting in Lupin’s room with a crying Teddy in her arms. Lupin lay on the bed, tremors running through his body. He looked up at Harry and his mouth attempted a smile. He managed a grimace.
“Where’s…um…Severus.”
Andromeda looked out the window to the back garden, where a persistent rain was falling. The back half of Grimmy was visible under a shrub.
“Grimmy’s stayed with him. At least I know that way he won’t go further, although he can’t actually leave the property with the wards set.”
She gave a sigh, and appeared on the verge of tears.
“I raised my voice to him. He wouldn’t leave Remus when he needed to rest. I tried to get him to come out of the room and he refused. He climbed up on the bed with him, which just made things worse of course, so I told him “no” and to get off the bed immediately. I was rather harsher than I intended, and he just completely panicked. He ran to the bathroom, and when I followed him there, he got so distressed I thought it was best to leave him. When I did leave him, he ran outside. I thought I’d lost him at first, but then Grimmy found him. He must be so cold and wet and frightened.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’ll see what I can do with him now.”
Harry cautiously approached the scruffy box honeysuckle in the corner of the garden. It was unpruned, and sprawled over a couple of metres. It created a good hiding place, although Harry would have known where to find Snape even without Grimmy. The black owl perched in the apple tree was staring directly at that spot with unblinking eyes. Harry crouched beside the bush and peered into the tangle at the bedraggled wet dog, and the even more bedraggled Snape.
‘What are you doing under there, Sevvy? That can’t be comfortable,” he said.
Snape wasn’t looking at him. His arms were curled over his head, his face buried in his knees. Harry could see he was crying, as well as starting to shiver from cold.
“Sevvy? Come on Sevvy, why don’t you come out here to me?”
Harry wondered whether he could fit under the bush too. He asked Grimmy to sit nearby, then leaned in and reached out to Snape, who flinched away at his touch.
“Sevvy, it’s me, Harry. It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Why don’t you come out from under there and we can go inside and get you some dry clothes.”
Harry could see that Snape was not responding. He debated the wisdom of lifting him magically and bringing him out or waiting until Lupin was recovered enough to coax him from his hiding place. That could be a while though.
“Sevvy, you are going to get sick if you stay under there much longer, so I’m going to bring you out with magic.”
Carefully, Harry levitated Snape just slightly, then brought him out slowly. Snape began to whimper in fear and cringed away from Harry, who backed away slightly to avoid distressing him further. The man was soaking wet, and Harry was rapidly heading that way himself.
“Grimmy’s right here, Sevvy. Why don’t you come inside with him and we can get some dry clothes for you.”
“No.”
“Come on Sevvy, it’s okay. You know I won’t hurt you.”
Snape was silent except for the faint crying which he was obviously trying to suppress.
“If you come in, you can sit in Remus’s room once you are changed.”
“I hurt him. I’m sorry,” Snape whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t hurt him. He’s sick, he just needs to rest.”
“No, I was bad. I hurt him. I… I’m bad.”
Harry sighed and pushed his dripping hair away from his face. He wiped a few raindrops from his glasses then gave up as the drops were immediately replaced. He knelt in front of Snape, and placed his hands firmly on his shoulders so he couldn’t flee.
“Listen to me, Sevvy,” he said, “it is not your fault, you are not bad. Remus will be ok when he has rested for a while.”
Snape looked back up at him.
“Does he take potions?”
Harry paused at the apparent shift in the discussion.
“What do you mean Sevvy?”
“My mother takes potions. That’s why sometimes she gets angry and sometimes she just sleeps and sometimes she wants me to go away. Does Remus take potions?”
Harry felt a chill inside him, to add to the damp chill in his body.
“No Sevvy, that’s not why he’s sick. He…” Harry paused, trying to explain it simply. “He got hurt, in a war. That’s why he can’t really walk and has the scar on his face. He was very brave and helped a lot of people, but now sometimes he gets tired and sick.”
Snape nodded, the explanation apparently enough. Harry noticed how much he was shaking. At first he’d thought it was the cold, but now he started to worry that it was something more.
“Please, Sevvy, you really need to come inside now.”
He put out his hand and Snape took it. He led him quietly back into the house, Grimmy following closely. He led Snape into his room and helped him change into dry pyjamas. Then, as promised, he took Snape to Lupin’s room.
By the time Snape was sitting on the floor beside Lupin’s bed, it was obvious that the trembling was something more than just cold, fear or even withdrawal. Lupin, now well enough to take Snape’s hand without it sending him into a convulsion, looked at Harry pointedly.
“You know what this is?”
Harry nodded.
“There was a bottle of the anti-Crucio potion there when I searched his flat. It wasn’t something he made, it was from St Mungo’s. I didn’t pay it much attention as it’s not addictive.”
“You don’t have any do you? It might be a good idea if you go and get his.”
“You think?” Harry responded, half sarcastic. Lupin was the master of grand understatement.
“I’ll have a word to Andromeda, then go.”
When Harry returned, he found Lupin nearly asleep and Snape curled up against him on the bed. The tremors were worse, but were far from their full intensity. Andromeda sat beside them on the chair. She had finally got a very grumpy Teddy to sleep for his nap, two hours late.
He grabbed a spoon and quickly measured out the potion for Snape, who took it without trouble. Snape sighed, and cuddled his head into the back of Lupin’s neck. The potion would make him sleepy, and reduce his other symptoms as well so perhaps he would get some rest. Unfortunately, any potion that reduced the Dreamless Sleep withdrawal symptoms would also prolong them, so he would pay later.
Harry leaned across to Lupin.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m feeling better, it’s passed now. I just want to sleep. Not entirely comfortable with this situation, but I’ll get over it.”
Harry smiled. He admired Lupin’s patience, once again. He couldn’t say it looked comfortable at all, two men in the single bed which was really too small for Lupin alone. He was reminded of Grimmy, who occasionally decided he wanted to be a lap dog. Completely unaware of his size, he would attempt to climb up onto Lupin as he sat in his chair. If it wasn’t a bad day, Lupin would transfigure the chair into something larger so that Grimmy could drape himself across Lupin’s lap, the fierce-looking dog appearing really quite absurd, but very happy.
